With Albert Pujols and the rest of the hard-slugging, steroid-scorning Cardinals rolling into town and the spring winds blowing reliably out in left, Giants top brass is launching a smarter ticketing program. Keenly aware that the Bondroids are addicted to thunderous moon shots, they've entrusted their new Chief Algorithm Officer with inputing weather service forecasts into the team's super-secret pricing algorithm. After pulling a couple of all-nighters, our brilliant young friend succeeded in tweaking his binary code. At only two additional dollars per 5 mph of wind speed, this "dynamic" pricing package will allow the whole family to enjoy what promises to be an onslaught of jacks, big flies, and dingers at still reasonable prices.
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