Showing posts with label bay-cotts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bay-cotts. Show all posts

Tubesox Nation Bay-cott #4: Encounters with the Wildcatter

Mssrs. Maloney and O'Doul by Night

Match-up: Mets-Giants
Date: 5/14
Weather: Windy, 61 degrees
Five-Fold Path adherence: cycle
DOOSH: $35.50

Tubesox Nation rocketed past the Mendoza line in style tonight (see Stiff-o-Meter) while the "dollars to Giants coffers" needle remained stubbornly pegged on zero. Zero. As in zip, zilch . . . yes, Billy, it's catorce de fucking mayo and we still have no bananas.

First contact with the ambos was abrupt tonight. Biking into the north wind, I spotted the Peanut Man's cousin on a deserted patch of sidewalk and pulled over to negotiate. He was either hard-up for buyers or heading into UC-land in search of some of that good stem cell mojo. Figuring it was the former, I offered twenty. Without hesitating, he handed me a ticket that said "LB 125, $39" . . . "LB" as in lower box. I blinked once, thinking that it must be the hard evening light. It still said "LB." Suddenly, I had visions of a half-empty stadium, but it was too late back out, so I bought it. Further up the street, I came across the reassuring sight of the Peanut Man, working the crowds as they passed to the ballpark. We said our hellos and I purchased a bag of nuts more as a courtesy than anything else. It was only a dollar, but the Peanut Man threw in a complimentary pack of sunflower seeds, because that's how we do business . . . shades of what they call lagniappe in New Orleans, I thought, wondering if maybe his family came from Louisiana. Whatever the case, I was glad that I hadn't backed out of the deal with his cousin. And then I pedaled off across the Lefty O'Doul Bridge and through the shadows of il Baer-McGowan Galleria to join my friends in drinking a pre-game pint of beer and catching the dying rays of the sun at the Hotel Utah, an oasis of what used to be along the phantom shores of Mission Bay. We file in during the bottom of the first, taking our seats in the single white guy section adjacent to the Korean heritage section. The clacking of the thunder sticks was awesome.

Metropolitans 7, Giants 4. No HRs, but plenty of screaming liners off the bats of the Mets, mostly.

Cruising along a scruffy stretch of Mission Bay back street after the game, I chance upon a wildcatter who's loading his bike onto the back of his vehicle. It seems like a prime spot, free parking within a leisurely walking distance of the park, so I ask him how early he arrived to snag it.
Seven-twenty, he tells me.
But that's just because the stadium was half empty?
Every game, he says. And if there's nothing here, I park around the university. The farthest I've ever had to park was up around the bar where you get off 280.
The Connecticut Yankee?
Right.
The wildcatter lets me in on his methodology. Find free street parking and bike from the car to the ballpark. If the line for the guarded bike garage is too long, lock the bike to a street rack. Preferably across 3rd Street from the Giants Dugout store where the cops hang out. Two locks. Always two locks--one for each wheel.
We get to talking about meathead kids in the bleachers and the conversation turns inevitably to Candlestick Park. I float my theory that the Candlestick crowds were different because fans didn't show up looking for fights, they showed up to cheer for the Gyros, and sometimes in the heat of the battle fights occurred.
The wildcatter agrees with me . . . to a point. Dodger games were different, he says, recalling a Dodger game when a guy was walking around the stands swinging a golf club. In the first inning. He's rolling now, so I just step aside. I used sit in the upper deck and watch the fights ripple around the lower deck. They looked like dust storms. You know why they passed the state law banning alcohol sales in the stands? Giant-Dodgers. They were on top of the Dodgers dugout, throwing bottles. He adds one last Candlestick memory, establishing the impeccability of credentials by placing himself at the center of the defining moment of Giants fandom during the long lean years. We used to buy beer just to throw at the Crazy Crab.
It's getting late, so we say goodbye and head our separate ways through the dark Mission Bay night.

Tubesox Nation Bay-cott #3: Arcadia

the view from the arccade
Match-up: Nationals-Giants
Date: 5/13
Weather: Sunny, 66 degrees
Five-Fold Path adherence: cycle
DOOSH: $15.75

An abbreviated sortie today . . . I arrived in the sixth and the ambos were long gone. After various fruitless attempts to scrounge an extra ticket from late arrivals (although one guy did offer me a lit reefer instead of a ticket), I phoned a friend inside the stadium and he said they'd scored $7 tickets at the ticket window.

Hmmm . . . decision time . . . not. A midweek tilt against the Nats is no time to lose focus and diverge from the Five-Fold Path. So, I ended up catching the final three innings from the freebie standing area under the right field arcade with a bunch of true fans.

Top six arcade highlights follow (maybe you can recognize your Tubesox Nation correspondent):
1. Nattily attired guy with walking stick suddenly pacing and screaming something about "put on your bullpen hat" and then returning to railing and falling silent again.

2. Verbose thirty-something skate-punk/union plumber in Rusty Staub-era Expos hat singing along to "Take Me Out to the Ballgame, accusing a batter of being "on Hillary Clinton's payroll," and screaming "yo, Adrian" when "Rocky" theme played in 9th.

3. Borderline ptero using "colorful" language to heckle Nats RF Austin Kearns after a Nate Schierholtz gapper eluded him.

4. Slightly less aged guy screaming "you're still playing Canadian baseball" after same Schierholtz gapper, provoking someone else to begin chanting "Eh . . . Eh . . . Eh . . . Eh!"

5. Wild-eyed woman worming her way in front of some poor schlub because she's "legally blind". . . and then sticking out a bare leg and ordering the Expos skate-punk to feel it, before saying "I need to find my boyfriend" and wandering off.
riding on every pitch

6. Yours truly attempting to nail down the exact pre-Gold Rush boundaries of Mission Bay with the ptero and the skate-punk . . . the general consensus was that it originally stretched approximately from 17th Street to Townsend Street.

Nats win 6-3 as Zeets takes a hard-luck loss, the Panda gets a ribby, and Ryan Zimmerman's 30-game hit streak ends. Post-game beer in the sun at The Ramp, Mission Bay's premier waterside joint.

Tubesox Nation Bay-Cott #2: Gaming the Algorithm


Match-up: Dodgers-Giants
Date: 4/29
Weather: windy, 57 degrees
Five-Fold Path adherence: cycle
DOOSH: $54

It's a cold Wednesday night in San Francisco, a night fit for torching a couple of Duraflame logs or turning the toaster oven to broil and pretending to forget about it. But cocooning is for losers and besides, down in China Basin, the Little Mullet is taking the hill against the hated Dodgers. Giants vs. Dodgers, it's a rivalry that's spanned a century, crossed a continent and, according to the super-secret algorithm of the King Street bean counters, deserves Feature game status. Translation: the Giants are charging $25 to sit in the left field bleachers and enjoy an unobstructed view of Manny Ramirez’s dreads. Twenty-five dollars. You could fill up your Prius for that kind of money. In Tiburon. It's pure unadulterated extortion and in Tubesox Nation, the response is sudden, knee-jerk, practically reptilian.

The improbable march must continue. So, fingers trembling with righteous indignation, I mix a batch of cactus juice to precise proportions, decanting it into a plastic water bottle filled with ice cubes. Continue to the major league minimum and beyond. I leave the house with purpose, swinging by Ganim’s Market for the food and maybe some Giants news. Never mind KNBR or ESPN, Ganim's is where I get all my breaking Giants news. Back in the post-hot stove gloom of January, for example, it was Ganim's owner who broke the story about Barry Zito. You know, the story about Zeets increasing his pull-ups max from three to 16. It seemed inconsequential at the time, another morning show factoid to file alongside Zeets' surfing prowess, Zeets' guitar wizardry and Zeets' Zen-like approach to ordering room service, but in the wake of seven shutout innings on Monday night, I'm beginning to wonder if there's something to it. I pick up my chicken kabob wrap; thoughtfully, the owner has packed it a clamshell container for extra protection against the China Basin elements. I hand over the money, get on my bike and speed downhill to fight the good fight against bean counters, Cha Cha bowls and mediocre $10 margaritas.

Nearing the stadium, I begin looking for tickets. The ambos are giving me the crazy fool treatment; they might not call it a Feature game, but in their world, a $20 Dodgers ticket is an insult. After all the aggravation, the sight of the Peanut Man is comforting.
How you doing, man? The Peanut Man says, recognizing me from the last game, or at least doing a good job of faking it.
Okay, I tell him, lamenting the difficulty of scoring a ticket for twenty.
Watch my stuff, he says, hustling up the street while I wonder if I'm supposed to be selling peanuts.
A short while later, The Peanut Man returns with a stocky guy who he introduces as his cousin. Alright, the cousin says, producing a couple of dog-eared Internet printouts, two for 40. I examine one. It says Giants-Dodgers 4-29, $11. Still, I'm skeptical. Those printouts don't look like tickets, and he doesn't look anything like the Peanut Man.

I tell the cousin that I won't pay $20 for a $11 ticket for a game that isn't sold out. The cousin isn't happy. I realize I've broken some unwritten code. A moment ago, the Peanut Man was trusting me with his merch, and now I’m trying to low-ball a relative.

The evening spirals further. I check the prices at the ticket window, but nothing's available for less than $19. So, I head back to find the cousin. We cut a deal for two for $38, but just as I'm pulling the money from my wallet, the cousin's very large associate snatches a printout from me, and sells it for more money. Finally, in Willie Mays Plaza, I wangle a single from a trio of drunken meatheads with a self-appointed leader who calls me "lippy" when I refuse to pay more than face. I hand over a twenty, half expecting not to get my change. The leader bids me adieu with a "fuck off." Needless to say, I won't be sitting in my assigned seat tonight.

The Giants have a 5-0 lead by the time I reach the bleachers. With The Little Mullet on the mound, that’s looking pretty good. The kid in the seat in front of me might be 21 and then again he might not be. But he’s drinking Bud Light straight from the can, so I tap him on the shoulder and hand him a souvie cup from back in the dark days when I used to be a lemmo—this one says “Bonds 600.” The kid's a member of the Nation, not that he knows it, and the Nation needs to stick together.

The Giants’ lead grows to 7-0, and standing in left with all that hair, Manny looks more like a clown than Sampson. What’s the matter with Manny? The bleacher preachers chant. He’s-a-bum, the chorus responds. The Carlyle Incident happened last century, I'm reminded, and bleacher wits are an endangered species. And then the Bud Light kid and his friends aim a different chant, a Spanish chant, straight at Manny. Cu-le-ro . . . cu-le-ro . . . cu-le-ro. Nobody knows what we're saying, they smile. But the great Manny Ramirez, the Ted Williams of Hispaniola, knows. Cu-le-ro . . . cu-le-ro . . . cu-le-ro. They're chanting asshole, and the usher has no clue. It's about as clever as the he's a bum bit, but still, watching that kid drink his Bud Light from the souvie cup, part of me can't help feel like a proud uncle.

money paid to Giants (estimated loss to organization):

any port in an economic storm:( Parking: $0
:( Tickets: $0 ($15)
:( Food: $0 ($9)
:( Drink $0 ($30)
:( Authorized MLB Merch $0
-----------
Total: $0 ($54.00)


home of the ganichengaLocal Businesses Supported:

:) $4.50 for chicken kabob to Ganim's Market, 18th and Mississippi Streets

Tubesox Nation Bay-Cott #1: The Peanut Man Cometh

it's a great day for twoMatch-up: Diamondbacks-Giants
Date: 4/18
Weather: sunny, 66 degrees
Five-Fold Path adherence: cycle
DOOSH: $50.25
Sunny April Saturday and the cat is photosynthesizing inside a grocery bag. She always did like paper, preferably double-bagged. The Giants are playing down in China Basin, and it's a perfect day for Tubesox Nation to begin its march, a perfect day to support the team, while stiffing the management. So after a brief pit-stop at Ganim's Market, San Francisco's Home of the Ganichenga, I'm rolling down the north side of Potrero Hill towards the ballpark. The slope gives out and I pass a sidewalk sale and fenced-off piles of rip-rap where a couple of local establishments used to stand. R.I.P. Cargo Restaurant. R.I.P. Triangle Sandwich Shop. A billboard anounces that the UCSF Children's and Women's Hospitals are coming, and who's against women and children? Still, sometimes when the wind calms and the bulldozer dust settles, you can almost smell the mayo and the liverwurst, almost hear the rattling of the ice in 17th Street sidewalk salethe shaker just before the Beefeater's is strained cold into a glass and drunk neat before noon.

Reaching the corner, I look up at the street sign. Thankfully, it still says 3rd Street. Willie Brown may have Miami-fied the Embarcadero, but he hasn't put his name on the 3rd Street Riviera yet. I pedal north into a light breeze. This all used to be water, but nowadays Mission Bay R.I.P. Cargo Restaurantsignifies biotech, stem cells, PCR, and, oh yeah, women and children. There's a chicken burrito, a couple of Bud talls, and some duct tape in my backpack--all the trappings of a great day out, Tubesox Nation style--and as soon as I hear the hopeful mantra of the ambulatory ticket brokers, I start thinking about going for the cycle.

I pull the bike onto the sidewalk, and the usual negotiations ensue . . .
Who's got tickets?
I'm looking for two.
Forty dollars apiece, these are real good ones.
I'm looking for your worst tickets, I say, pulling the old switcheroo.
The ambo produces more tickets from his pocket and adjusts his strategy. Okay, I'll give you these two for fifty.
My friend won't pay that, I say, scrambling for leverage.
What's he paying then?
He's not picking up the phone.
Watchoo paying then?
Two for twenty five.
Ah, man. The ambo is taking it personally.

A while later, an older ambo promises me he'll get me two for 25, limping off at a none too encouraging pace. The sun is hot and it becomes apparent that he's not returning, so I head a short ways up 3rd and take refuge under a billboard. Peanuts . . . sunflower seeds . . . one dollar! A peanut vendor is working a steady procession of fans who walk past from the parking lots. Caramel apples . . . two dollars! The woman selling the apples fans herself withcaramel apples, two dollars her homemade sign. She's got her work cut out for her, selling Halloween treats in April, and being downstream from the Peanut Man doesn't make things easier. Peanuts . . . sunflower seeds . . . one dollar! The ambos circulate like sharks, pausing occasionally in the cool shade of the billboard. I keep naming my price, and they keep taking great personal affront to the suggestion, the mere thought really, of two for $25. The ball game may have begun inside The Big Mortgage, but they've got their contrabandistas have better legspride and their bottom line to look after. Whatta you need, man, the Peanut Man asks finally. I tell him and he seems sympathetic. You're gonna be holding them, he scolds the ambos, they're gonna be cardboard on the wall tonight. But nobody's budging, so the Peanut Man gets down to business (click on picture below to listen).

the peanut man works his magic

wildcattingThirteen Ks earns Lincecum a seat on the bench to watch his bullpen buddies cough up a run in the ninth. Chalk up an "L" for the Giants. Grumbling about Sabean and Renteria on the way out. A guy in a bar afterwards, wishing on a star for Barry's iminent return. Sometime later, I happenten dollars worth of cardboard to glance at my ticket stub: it says $10. The old 3rd Street alchemy: spinning $25 out of $20 worth of cardboard. But in the afterglow of a season-opening five-bagger, it feels like money well spent.


money paid to Giants (estimated loss to organization):

any port in an economic storm:( Parking: $0
:( Tickets: $0 ($10)
:( Food: $0 ($14)
:( Drink $0 ($26.25)
:( Authorized MLB Merch $0
-----------
Total: $0 ($50.25)


Local Businesses Supported:

:) $6 for chicken burrito to Castillito Taqueria, Church nr. Duboce

:) $3.50 for beer at local market

:) $25 to ambulatory ticket brokers for tickets