Top Brass Announce No-Zone Discount Ticket Promo

Following on the heels of their altruistic K-Zone promo tying bleacher prices for a future game to strikeouts recorded by all pitchers in a particular game. ($6 bleacher seats to Tuesday's Braves game, while they lasted), Giants top brass have launched a No-Zone promo where future prices fluctuate with the number of walks issued by the Giants staff over nine innings. The first No-Zone game will be the Memorial Day game against the Braves, with all discounts applicable Field Club seats for a September 15 pennant race tilt against the Rockies. With Kid Sanchez averaging four walks over 5 1/3 innings on the season and the Giants bullpen capable of nibbling at the corners with the best of them, bargain hunters should be able to scoop up Field Club seats for the scarcely believable price of $70 or less.

Well-placed sources report that the launch of the promo followed an acrimonious dust-up between fourth generation San Franciscan Larry Baer and brainy, bow-tied William Neukom at Sea-Tac International Navigator's Club. Although Neukom, a former Microsoft exec, is no stranger to corporate generosity, he initially refused to stand for a culture that rewarded failure. But the ever-pragmatic Baer insisted that giving the fans something to cheer about besides the big screen shenanigans was paramount to the Giants mission. Baer's persistence apparently wore down the mentally agile yet older Neukom; as the men were finishing their second highball, sources witnessed them coming to a handshake agreement.

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